| You know how it is in a typical whodunit. At the end, | | | | actually make you act or respond a certain way. As |
| when the guilty party is unmasked, it's never the dark | | | | an autonomous human being, you are already |
| mysterious stranger with his eyes too close together. | | | | choosing your action or response, although it may not |
| Neither is it the jewel-dripped widow with the | | | | seem like it. If this seems a bit radical, stay with me for |
| poisonous tongue or the vamp with the string of | | | | a short story. A backpacker in Thailand who loves |
| crossed lovers. The murderer turns out to be a | | | | animals decides to take an elephant ride. She arrives |
| character with an innocuous exterior - the friendly, | | | | on the booked day and is delighted to see the |
| mild-mannered chap in a tweed jacket or possibly the | | | | elephants led out into a clearing in the trees. She |
| leader of the local convent. The nice-person disguise | | | | watches as one is tethered to a stake in the ground. |
| has to be broken to reveal the true villain. What's this | | | | She has never been this close before and marvels at |
| got to do with real life? When we want to be more | | | | the sense of power. In fact she's amazed that the |
| inspired (or improve our lives in any way) many things | | | | elephant does not simply pull the stake from the |
| can get in the way. There is a whole string of | | | | ground and walk away. Instead it waits patiently. Later |
| possibilities - difficult colleague, lack of time, low energy, | | | | she asks the handler about this. He tells her that the |
| the recession and so on. Yet as long as we think in | | | | elephant could easily uproot the stake but never does. |
| these terms - that the problem is 'out there' - the real | | | | The reason is because it was first tethered to a stake |
| villain is in hiding. The real villain is a tiny little thought that | | | | when it was a baby and then it did not have the |
| can slip into your mind completely unnoticed. Once | | | | strength to get away. Of course the elephant never |
| there it grows and can take over your whole outlook. | | | | forgets, so what it learned then it still applies. For us, the |
| This small but dangerous thought is "I have no choice". | | | | thought "I have no choice" is the stake in the ground. |
| So when you face a particular obstacle and it seems | | | | As you face the obstacle or challenge, you can |
| that you have no choice about what to do, this | | | | choose to act the same as before and stay tethered. |
| insidious thought is alive and well in your mind. Because | | | | Or you can choose to act and think differently. Either |
| it comes in a variety of clever disguises, here's what to | | | | way, it's your choice. Finally here are some pointers |
| look out for: 1. Check your language. When you use | | | | that can help shift your thinking into 'choosing mode': 1. |
| the words "I should/must/ought to/need to" it is | | | | Focus on the outcome you want rather than what you |
| extremely likely that you are missing some other | | | | don't want 2. Look for signs where your outcome is |
| choices open to you 2. When you act from a | | | | already visible - even if the signs are tiny 3. Modify |
| overriding feeling of duty or obligation, you are in "no | | | | your actions and responses to what goes on around |
| choice" mode 3. Beware the obvious and sensible. | | | | you to amplify these signs - aim for more of them and |
| Often they eliminate the sense of choice 4. When | | | | at greater frequency As you become consciously |
| situations seem too big to deal with, we can feel | | | | aware of exercising choice, the old villain will have less |
| intimidated into missing choices You may be thinking | | | | opportunity to sneak in and take over. Now it will be |
| that there are some cases where you genuinely have | | | | you running the show! |
| no choice at all. But look again at this - no one can | | | | |